


Timeline

by walkingivy



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3632475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkingivy/pseuds/walkingivy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan knew exactly what choices had turned his life into a nightmare.  He just never expected to have the opportunity to fix it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

.o0o.

Part 1:

.o0o.

 

            The truth of the matter was that Ryan just didn’t know how to live without Colin.  It was the anniversary of Colin’s death that always did it for him.  Each year on December 3, shortly after Colin’s birthday, Ryan would transform from a semi-functioning, slightly alcoholic, reclusive member of society into a complete trainwreck of a person.  He became the sort of person that his normal pitiful self would have crossed the street to avoid.  

 

Without fail, Drew would call him early on November 30th while Ryan contemplated the merits of starting his destructive behavior a little sooner than normal and try to talk some sense into him.  Invariably, Drew would try to convince him that Colin’s death hadn’t been his fault and that he had to take better care of himself because not sleeping or eating was a quick way into an early grave.  Invariably, Ryan would try to placate him by promising to do better this time around and invariably, Ryan would find himself breaking that promise within a few days.

 

            He usually started the day by getting kicked out of several bars and restaurants and things generally went downhill from there as he scouted out for places that reminded him of Colin and drank himself stupid.   If he was lucky, he’d wake up in the county lock-up with only a few misdemeanor charges against him, which typically resulted in a forced sobriety.  He’d call his lawyer, because lord knows that Pat had given up on him years before Colin had even passed, and make the young woman work for her fees.  But he wasn’t generally lucky.

 

            This year, he decided as he packed his car with enough booze to give an elephant alcohol poisoning, would be the last time he did this.  He’d surprised Drew with a rather pleasant visit in thanks for all the ways he’d been a good friend even as Ryan had worked hard to keep himself isolated, then drove his car to the hotel Colin had always liked to stay at while filming Whose Line.   He considered checking out a room, but decided that he didn’t want to create any more of a mess for the owner than he was already planning and began chugging his drinks.

 

 He’d managed to terminate his career, estrange his wife, alienate his children, mangle his health, empty his bank accounts, and detach himself from his friends.  He’d been working on destroying his life ever since Colin had lost his and was simply waiting for a storm to finish the job. 

 

            He popped open another drink and worked on brewing up a storm.

 


	2. Chapter 2

.o0o.

Part 2

.o0o.

 

            Colin cringed at the sound of the phone ringing.  He’d had a late night catching up with Greg, against his better judgment, and had been planning to sleep in until the last possible moment before getting ready for filming that afternoon.  He grabbed the phone and resisted the urge to slam it right back down.  He couldn’t keep the growl out of his tone, though, when he snapped, “What?”

 

            “Good morning to you, too.”  Drew responded, sounding like he’d been up for hours.  He probably had.

 

            Colin softened his tone.  “Sorry.  Late night.”

 

            “No problem, man.”  Drew said agreeably.  “Have you heard from Ryan?”

 

            “I just woke up.”  Colin rolled his eyes.  “Have you tried his wife?”  Honestly, sometimes it was like Drew thought he really was Ryan’s wife that he was always playing in their skits. 

 

            “Yeah.”  Drew replied immediately.  “Look, I don’t mean to bother you, it’s just that he missed a producer’s meeting this morning and now I can’t get ahold of him. There’s no answer on his cell or his house phone.”

 

            Colin came fully awake at that.  However much Ryan complained about meetings and certain aspects of his job, he was relentlessly reliable.  He could rant about hoedowns until he was blue in the face, but in the end, he still did them.   He seemed to have a similar, though not as prominent disdain for meetings, but he never skipped out on them.  That meant that something must have happened to him.  The thought of something happening to Ryan tied his stomach up in knots.  “I’ll swing by his house.”  Colin promised, hanging up the phone even as Drew tried to thank him. 

 

 

            Colin had the room for the week, so he didn’t have to worry about checking out as he hurriedly swapped into day clothes and slid shoes on.  He located his keys and wallet, and then he was out the door and heading for his car.  He was in such a rush that he nearly missed the car parked across from his own bearing a striking resemblance to his friend’s.  Colin frowned, thinking it just a coincidence until he came around the driver’s side and saw Ryan slumped awkwardly in his seat.  Already, a hundred questions were developing in his mind.  This was turning into an exceptionally odd day even after only ten minutes of consciousness, and he had a feeling that it was just going to get stranger.

 

            Tapping on the glass of the window got zero reaction from the sleeping man, even as he tapped louder.  He tried the door in the unlikely scenario that he’d left it unlocked and found that the door swung open easily.  Colin grasped Ryan’s shoulder and shook him, first gently and then harder as he didn’t awaken.  Ryan was generally a pretty heavy sleeper, but it was ridiculous to the point that Colin began to question whether or not he was even alive.  He checked for a pulse.  Slow, but strong, and the skin under his fingertips was warm.

 

            “Ryan!”  He finally shouted. 

 

            Ryan jerked awake and hit his head on the side of the car.   He let out a moan and then bent over the side of the car to retch.  Colin jumped back, narrowly missing getting vomit all over his shoes.  

 

            When he was finished, Colin began his interrogation, caught somewhere between deep concern and anger.  “Have you been here all night?”

 

            “Is it morning?”  He cracked his eyes open and immediately recoiled back into the car at even the light from the overcast sky. 

 

            “Why didn’t you come in?”

 

            “Didn’t want to make a mess.”  Ryan mumbled. 

 

            Colin inspected the gravel slathered in bile and conceded his point.  It stank, but it wasn’t as pervasive as the smell of alcohol.  “Have you been drinking all night?”

 

            “Is it morning?”   Ryan repeated, but Colin honestly couldn’t tell if he was trying to be humorous.

 

            “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”  Colin offered.

 

            Ryan seemed genuinely confused as he looked up at him and Colin began to wonder how many brain cells he’d managed to kill in his binge drinking.  “Col?”

 

            “That’s me.”

 

            “Am I dead?”

 

            “No, but you’re going to wish you were when the hangover kicks in.”

 

            “Huh.”  Ryan responded, twisting to yank his legs out of the vehicle and utterly failing to stand up on his own.   Colin sighed and helped him to his feet, grasping him around the waist and yanking his arm over his shoulders.

 

            “What happened, Ryan?” Colin asked as they made their way into the building.  Colin was currently appreciating that he did not have to drag Ryan through the front office and could slip directly into his room.  “Did you even go home?  Pat’s got to be worried sick about you.”

 

            “Pat and I are through.”  Ryan spat, his speech still slurred, and Colin was baffled by the amount he must have had in order to still be this drunk.

 

            “You probably want to save these big life decisions for when you’re sober.”  Colin suggested helpfully.

 

             “You know she cheated on me?”  Ryan continued, leaning heavily on his friend.   “Mackenzie’s not mine.”

 

            Colin stifled his surprised gasp.  It looked like he’d hit on what had caused Ryan’s decision to drink until he passed out in the parking lot.  He had obviously come here for Colin’s help, but had somehow not made it to him.  Why hadn’t he called? 

 

            “Sam might not be mine.  She’s not even sure on that one.”  Ryan continued to mumble as Colin struggled to get the door open.  He seemed to be simultaneously more and less coherent, but the floodgates were definitely open on his tongue.  “Oh, and Claire is definitely not mine.”

 

            “Ry?”  Colin asked as he sat him down on the bed.  “Who’s Claire?”

 

            “You know Claire.”  Ryan stated firmly.  “You adore Claire.  Adored. Before you died, that is.”

 

            “Uh-huh.”  Colin licked his lips.  “Just sit tight.”

 

            Ryan’s arm shot out and he grabbed his wrist with a precision that seemed to contradict his drunken stupor.  “Don’t go.”

 

            “I’m not going anywhere.”  Colin promised.  “I just need to call Drew.”

 

            “Drew’s here too?”  Ryan asked in surprise.

 

            “Not yet.” 

 

            “Am I dead?”  Ryan asked again as Colin picked up the phone, turning his body so he could watch.

 

            “No, you’re not dead.”  Colin frowned.  “My god, Ryan, did you take something?  Maybe we need to get you to the hospital.”

 

            “No, I didn’t. Don’t need the hospital.”  Ryan swore.  “I’m just… confused.” Ryan seemed to fumble for a good explanation. “My head hurts.”   He added, helpfully.

 

            “I can see that.”  Colin confirmed as he dialed the number.  He told Drew that he had found Ryan and that maybe he should come over before they made any decisions.  Quickly.  And could he maybe grab a spare change of clothes for Ryan from the studio?  Drew agreed to get there are as soon as humanly possible.

 

            “Am I dreaming?”  Ryan’s next perplexed question. 

 

            “’Fraid neither of us is dreaming.”  Colin replied as he fetched a glass of water from the bathroom.  “Drink this.” 

 

            Ryan obediently drank the glass down and Colin got him a second one, which he worked on more sedately while Colin untied his shoes and began peeling them off his feet.  “How do you know I’m not dreaming?”  Ryan asked.

 

            “You said your head hurt.  Dreams don’t hurt.”  Colin explained as he worked Ryan’s socks off.

 

            “Nightmares hurt.”  Ryan argued like a child. 

 

            Colin sighed again and smacked Ryan across the face.  It did wonders to relieve his annoyance, even if he did feel a little guilty.  “Did that feel real?”

 

            “I’m not sure I deserved that.”  Ryan complained.  “I didn’t even get to grope you.”        

 

            Colin snorted and assisted Ryan in taking his shirt off. 

 

            “What are you doing?”

 

            “I’m getting you undressed so you can take a shower.  It should help with your… condition.”  Colin explained as he helped Ryan to stand and began working on his pants.   Ryan pushed his hands away.  “Oh, don’t be such a pain.  We’re both adults here.”

 

            “No, just… gotta throw up again.”  Ryan explained, heading off to the bathroom. 

 

            Colin followed him in, lunging to get the seat up in time as Ryan worked on emptying his insides through his mouth.  

 

 

.o0o.

 

.o0o.

Part 3

.o0o.

 

            When Drew arrived at Colin’s hotel room, he found Ryan freshly showered and shaved, sitting on the end of the bed in a fluffy robe and sipping coffee.  With the bag of clothes in his hand, he was for a moment entertaining the idea that he was helping cover up some sort of affair.  He gave the thought its due, considered that Colin had found Ryan with remarkable speed and that Ryan had no change of clothes, and then dismissed it just as quickly.  They may goof around on set, but there was nothing between them aside from a deep friendship.   However, if he weren’t there to help them cover up something, he couldn’t immediately see why Colin had called him with such urgency.

 

            Colin took the clothes from Drew and then passed them to Ryan, who seemed to lack any motivation to get up.   “Why don’t you change in the bathroom?”  Colin suggested when Ryan kept his seat.

 

            Ryan shook his head and set the clothes next to him.

 

            “Ryan, you’ve got to put some clothes on.”  Colin said, more persistently.  Drew was beginning to see that something was very wrong with his tall friend. 

 

            “Ryan, you okay, buddy?”  Drew asked tentatively. 

 

            “I’m fine, Drew.” The response was automatic and even sounded pretty normal until he followed it up with, “When’d you put on so much weight?” 

 

            Drew found himself at a loss for words.

 

            Colin, seeing that his friend was making no attempts to get dressed, picked up the bag again and began tugging him to the bathroom.  Ryan followed him easily, but Drew could hear his protests the moment Colin tried to come back out.   Colin finally made the compromise to leave the door open and left Ryan alone.

 

            “I had no idea.”  Drew began with a smirk.

 

            “Shut up.”  Colin stated decisively, then lowered his voice.  “I found Ryan in the parking lot this morning completely smashed, never seen him that bad.  From what I can figure of his ramblings, he and Pat broke up last night and things got pretty nasty.  He just seems really out of it and keeps following me around like a puppy.  He wouldn’t even shower until I promised to stay in the room.  And he’s been saying some weird things.  He asked me twice if he was dead.”

 

            “That is weird.”  Drew conceded, looking to the open bathroom door in concern.  Pat and Ryan’s relationship always seemed so rock steady.  He supposed it made sense that Ryan was acting a bit crazy. 

 

            “I’m not sure he’s going to be able to do the show today, but I thought I’d get a second opinion before I asked for everything to be cancelled.  Ryan would hate to do that.”

 

            “Well, we don’t necessarily have to cancel.”  Drew suggested.  “We could have Greg sit in for Ryan, he’s already in town, and Brad do fourth chair.  We could pull it together quickly enough.”

 

            “I want to do the show.”  Ryan stated firmly as he came out of the bathroom.  He certainly looked presentable, and Drew could see no traces of the completely wasted individual Colin had described.  And then Drew’s mind did a 180 on his assessment when Ryan asked what day it was.

 

            “Friday.”  Drew responded slowly.

 

            “December 4th?”  Ryan asked. 

 

            Drew and Colin exchanged a worried glance.  “It’s March.”  Colin was frowning.  “Ry, maybe it’s not such a great idea for you to work today.  Take the day off, stay here if you like.”  Ryan looked stricken and Colin quickly backpedalled. “Or come with us and watch.”

 

            “Guys, I’m fine.  Let’s get this show on the road.”  Ryan coaxed.

 

            Drew and Colin looked at each.  They both had some serious doubts about that statement, but if Ryan said he was fine, it was going to be pretty difficult to convince Dan to keep him from doing the show without putting Ryan in a very bad position.  So instead, they watched him like a hawk as they made their way to the studio.

 

.o0o.

 


	3. Chapter 3

.o0o.

Part 4

.o0o.

           

            If this was a dream, it was the best dream Ryan had had in a long, long time.   If he was dead, then he wasn’t sure he’d ended up where he ought to have.

 

            Most of the time when he dreamed of Colin, it was of the car crash that killed him.  Even though he hadn’t been present at the time, his mind had actively pulled together enough vivid details to create a drama that would rival Hollywood’s best films.  He’d wake up screaming and then try to drown himself in the nearest bottle.

 

            This time, however, he seemed to be having an elaborate dream about the early days on Whose Line.   Despite the pounding headache and all-around nasty feeling of what felt like two hangovers getting married, Ryan still had no inclination to ever wake up from this dream.  Colin was there, alive, younger, more energetic, and casting worried glances his way every few seconds as they drove in.  His passively smiling face seemed to do more to worry his best friend than appease him.

 

            The desire to puke had mostly subsided and he was working on his fourth cup of coffee when his cell phone rang.  He ignored it at first because that wasn’t his ringtone at all.  Maybe it was Colin’s phone?

 

            “You going to get that?”  Colin finally asked with a sigh.

 

            Ryan fumbled around in his pockets until he produced an old cell phone that he hadn’t used in more than ten years.  It was, indeed, ringing. “Hello?”

 

            “Ryan?  My god, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since last night.  I damn near called the police.”  Pat’s voice was high and panicky and Ryan almost felt guilty before he recalled all the reasons that he’d stopped talking to the woman.   He glanced over at Colin who showed no signs of having heard his ex-wife.  Wife?

 

            “Hi, Pat.”  This did get Colin’s attention and Ryan decided he was more interested in watching Colin than listening to Pat.

 

            “That’s it?  Hi, Pat? Where have you been?  You didn’t even call.”

 

             Ryan blinked, catching himself before he could make any apologies.  This was his dream and he wasn’t going to waste it trying to make amends with that woman.  No, he was going to say all the things he’d wanted to say the first time around but hadn’t because he was still under the mistaken impression that they’d work things out.  “You’d think you would be happy to have some extra time with your lover.”

 

            Colin sucked in a breath at the same time as Pat and his eyes fell back to his friend’s form.  Pat stumbled over her words, trying to defend herself and deny the accusation.  He was surprised to find that her lies still hurt even after their years apart.

 

            “Don’t bother.”  Ryan insisted.  “We’re done.”  Ryan almost turned off the phone before deciding that there was something else he’d always wanted to say to her and he was going to enjoy it.  “I’m in love with Colin.”

 

            Then, feeling giddy, he rolled down the window and tossed his cell phone from the car.  He looked back innocently at Colin who was gaping at him like a fish.  “What’d you do that for?”

 

            “Eyes on the road.”  Ryan reminded him as he started to veer slightly.  It wouldn’t do for this lovely dream to turn into a nightmare, to see Colin’s head snap to the side and body crushed under the force of a collision with a semi.  He shuddered.  “I never liked that phone, anyway.” 

 

            “Not that.  Why did you just tell your wife that you’re in love with me? She’s going to think-”

 

            “That I’m in love with you?  That was the point.”

 

            “That we’re having an affair!”  Colin corrected. 

 

            “So?”

 

            “So?”  Colin repeated incredulously.  “We’re not!”

 

            “We could.”  Ryan retorted.

 

            Colin’s eyes were huge.  “What?”

 

            “Eyes on the road.”  Ryan continued conversationally, as if he hadn’t just suggested having an affair with his best and male friend. 

 

            Colin faced forward, gripping the wheel tightly.  “She’s going to call Deb now, and I’m the one that’s going to have to explain that you’re going bat-shit crazy.  Maybe I should take you to the hospital.”

 

            “Sorry.”  Ryan apologized sincerely.  The last thing he wanted to do was alienate Colin.  Going to the hospital didn’t sound fun either.

 

            And just as quickly, Colin was already working to forgive him.  “Look, I know that you’re going through a rough patch, but could you at least try to think before you speak?”

 

            Ryan ducked his head.  “I’ll do my best.”                    

 

 

.o0o.

 

.o0o.

Part 5

.o0o.

 

            Colin had to admit that despite all his well-founded fears, Ryan was performing just fine.  If anything, he was at the top of his game, energetic, creative and hilarious.  Still, Colin had a bad feeling regarding his behavior and found himself worrying every time Ryan stepped onto the center stage.  In response, Ryan seemed preoccupied with keeping tabs on Colin, though it wasn’t as obvious as he’d been as he followed Colin around his hotel room. 

 

            They sailed through the first half of taping without any mishaps.  Dan was obviously planning to get two or three episodes filmed today, and it seemed like a neverending performance.  They played a game of Weird Newscasters, followed by a game of Let’s Make a Date, both of which had Ryan running around the stage exuberantly, but it was difficult to say if someone was acting strangely when their job demanded that they act strangely.  If You Know What I Mean was next and, as usual, Brad was phenomenal, Ryan was decent and Colin began throwing in random comments that rarely made sense.  A game of Questions Only flew by with Ryan dominating the stage throughout almost the entire scene.  Honestly, Colin was starting to think that Ryan might be having a better day than he was. 

 

            Just as Colin was beginning to let his guard down about Ryan’s behavior, he realized that Ryan had been doing something odd all day; he was touching Colin a lot more than usual.  And given that they touched each other a lot in general, this was quite a statement.  And if Colin were noticing it, chances are, other people would have picked up on it as well.   Once he noticed it, it was difficult to un-notice it, especially as Ryan seemed to be making things worse by the game. 

 

            They started a game of Superheroes where Brad, the Telemarketing Man had to solve the problem of there being no coffee left in the world.  He sagged in a pitiful heap, declaring that it was the only product he’d ever sold before Ryan stumbled in, assuring Brad that he would be more useful once he’d found a decent cup of coffee.  Brad declared him Cuddly Cat Boy and Ryan immediately got on his hands and knees and began rubbing himself against Brad’s legs.  Colin was dubbed Captain Collapse and dreaded the effect it would have on his back as he immediately went down.  Colin passed it forward by calling Wayne the Musical Farts Man.  The third time Colin fell to the floor, Ryan circled him, pawed at his stomach and then snuggled onto his chest for a nap.  Wayne subsequently “solved the problem” by promising to wake everyone up with his flatulence and then blasting out of the room.  Ryan stretched out like a cat, but instead of walking off the set as expected, he turned around and went back to sleep on top of Colin.  It wasn’t particularly a Ryan move, but it certainly fit the cat he was supposed to be playing.  Drew finally buzzed them out when it became clear that Ryan wouldn’t move and Colin couldn’t move.  When he stood, Ryan offered Colin a hand up and kept the hand hovering nearby as they returned to their seats.

 

            After Superheroes came Party Quirks.  As they waited to enter, Ryan was standing close enough that Colin could feel his breath on the back of his neck and the back of Ryan’s hand as it dangled next to his.  It made it hard to concentrate on Wayne’s quirk, which was the entire cast of the Brady Bunch.  Ryan’s hand landed on his shoulder and Colin nearly forgot his quirk.   He was supposed to be a color-blind fashion consultant. 

 

            “Blue is so not your color.”  He stated as he came in.  Brad glanced down at his green shirt and brown slacks.  “Let me give you some pointers.”  Colin continued as he mimed writing a list, only to get completely distracted by Wayne’s outfit.

 

            Ryan came in, last as usual.  “Oh, you look a bit chilly. Let me help you.”  He said to Brad as he wrapped himself around his torso, letting his arms hang over the other man’s.

 

            “I like you.”  Brad announced as he walked with some difficulty due to Ryan’s presence.  Ryan folded himself to Brad’s movements. 

 

            “I could keep you warm.”  Ryan stated flirtatiously as he shifted off of Brad and attached himself to Wayne. 

 

            “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!” Wayne finally wailed and then he was off the stage and back to his seat.  Ryan shifted over to Colin and wrapped his arms around the shorter man.

 

            Colin went with the flow, already confident that he knew Ryan’s quirk.  He adjusted Ryan’s position and ran a hand down his arms as if smoothing fabric.  “Now, if you’re looking for something trendy, look no further. Although, yellow might be a better color to go with.”  Colin mimed looking in a mirror, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Ryan was already wearing yellow.

 

            “Thanks for all the fashion advice, my color blind friend.”  Brad responded.  “I’ll get me a sweater just like yours.”

 

            “Close enough.”  Drew buzzed them both out, reading from a card as Brad looked on curiously.  “Although it says here that Ryan was a suave jacket looking for the perfect owner.”

 

            “Suave jacket.”  Brad repeated as they all began to move back to their seats.  “Why didn’t I think of that?”

 

            They bantered for a bit before Drew announced the next game as Changing Emotions.  All four actors were called down and given a helmet, which represented love, and a pair of sunglasses that signified fear.  They were a motorcycle gang stopping for gas. 

 

            It all started out simple enough, but then any idea that Ryan was simply playing a part faded when he refused to relinquish the helmet of love to Colin when he tugged on it and they found themselves both clinging to the object at the same time.  Ryan smirked and then started in with teasing touches and playful comments.  Colin was, of course, obliged to respond in kind and instead of bailing him out of the situation, Wayne was running away from Brad in terror as Brad attempted to cajole him onto his bike.   Ryan angled their bodies so he was blocking the cameras and leaned in to fake a kiss.   His lips were a hair’s breadth away from his own and Colin forgot to breathe for a moment, forgot that he was on stage and forgot that he shouldn’t want Ryan to kiss him.   Then he was brought back to reality by the sound of a buzzer and Ryan retreated back to a more respectable distance.

 

            “Ewww.” Drew was declaring with a shudder.  “That’s going to give me nightmares for a week.”

 

            “You’re just jealous that I wasn’t kissing you.”  Ryan replied cheekily as they moved back to their seats.  

 

 

.o0o.

6

.o0o.

 

            Ryan felt like he was flying.  He’d missed the lightning fast pace of Whose Line, the thrill of being in front of an audience and having to improvise his way out of whatever situation he was thrust into.  He’d missed the absurdity of their games and the playfulness of his friends.  He’d missed Colin so badly that he’d forgotten about how much he’d missed his other friends as well.   He’d missed laughing and he’d missed feeling funny. 

 

            There had been talk about starting up Whose Line again, even though it’d been off the air for a decade, but Ryan wasn’t willing to contemplate doing it without Colin, even if he hadn’t known that he was irrevocably out of the business.  Ryan wasn’t sure if Wayne had ever said yes or if he’d even been approached after Ryan had so firmly said no, but the show never got its revival.

 

            It had been such a long time since he’d done any improvisation at all, he had a brief spike of fear as they entered the stage and took their seats.  But the return to his old job was like slipping on an old comfortable sweater that had been hidden away in the back of his closet.   It gave him a thrill knowing that he could reach out and touch Colin any time he liked and feel the warmth of a decisively alive individual beneath his fingers.   

 

            The day’s filming was nearing its end when he made his big mistake.  Drew announced Greatest Hits, which was one of Ryan’s favorite games, and he approached his stool with a bounce in his step, then sat, leaning into Colin with a warm smile as he began an opening spiel. 

 

            “Sit on the remote again? We know that’s why you’re on this channel. But while you struggle to locate the control between your couch cushions, let us tell you about this great offer we have for you.”

 

            Colin took over with ease, “Hey Ry,”

 

            “Yeah, Col?”

 

            “Have you ever been at the laundromat and wished that the music they were playing was actually about the laundromat?”

 

            “Why no,” Ryan responded, “I hate to be reminded that I’m doing laundry while I do my laundry.  But I know lots of people who may or may not have thought that at one point.”

 

            Colin pouted at his refusal to play along, but quickly turned to point at the audience, “And if you’re one of those people with no taste in music, have we got a deal for you!”

 

            “A four CD set, all about the laundromat!” Ryan chipped in excitedly.  “And how many songs do you think are on this set, Col?”

 

            “At least four!”  Colin replied with a giggle as Ryan moved on to introduce the song.       

 

             Ryan thought to himself that he’d really like to see what Wayne would do with a song in the style of Justin Bieber.   Even though he hadn’t seen Wayne or Brad in years, he could just imagine him coaxing his voice into something vaguely prepubescent and Brad screaming like a twelve year old fangirl.  The words were out before he could think better of it and everyone was staring at him.  

 

            Ryan realized his mistake.  He still wasn’t sure what year it was, but Claire apparently hadn’t been born yet, which meant that Justin Bieber was most likely still in diapers.   Everyone was staring at him.  They had no idea what to sing or play because it didn’t exist yet. 

 

            “I seem to have had a bit too much to drink earlier.”  He explained in an ironically honest lie, swaying slightly to give his claim credibility.   He wondered if he could pass it off as some other Justin.  Timberlake?  When was that kid born, anyway?  He quickly decided that that segment needed to end up on the cutting room floor before he caused some sort of time paradox or something.  “Oh, I know!  How about the style of ‘Fuck me silly’?”  He continued before Colin could swoop in and save him.

 

            Colin’s eyes asked if he was feeling okay.  Ryan shrugged back helplessly.

 

            “Okay, we’re starting that one over.”  Dan Patterson came in and Ryan thought he might kiss the man.  He’d never been so happy to see an interruption in his life.  Dan was giving him a dirty look, like he’d messed the scene up on purpose, which, he supposed he had. 

 

            As they returned back to their seats to walk out again, Colin leaned in and whispered, “You really shouldn’t rile him up today.  Drew covered for you, but he’s still pretty pissed that you missed that meeting this morning.”

 

            Ryan shook his head and asked, “Do you think you could do the lead-ins today?”  He was suddenly drawing a blank on any bands that hadn’t been created in the last fifteen years and thought it would just be safer if Colin took over. 

 

            “All of them?”  Colin asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

 

            “Yeah.” 

 

            “All right.”

 

            They bickered like normal, but Colin took the lead with coming up with the genres for the music and everything went a lot smoother.  When Colin picked something slow for a song called “Love in the Laundromat”, Ryan felt inspired and gestured for Colin to dance with him.   Colin was, at first, reluctant, but let Ryan guide him into a side-to-side sway around their stools.   Ryan felt the other man drop his head onto his shoulder and looked down at him with open affection.  He knew that they’d slow-danced together on stage before and briefly wondered if it had happened yet.   He was just peripherally aware that they were earning some aww’s from the audience. 

 

            The buzzer sounded and soon they were on to Scenes from a Hat.  Generally a well-liked game by all, Ryan was still wary of his earlier mistake and knew that he had to be more careful.  As a result, he didn’t participate quite as much as he normally did.   He skipped the one about alternate movie endings, and also the question what the president dreamed about.  He actually took a step back when Drew asked about remakes of popular songs.  But Colin’s eyes kept returning to him and he couldn’t keep hiding on the sidelines for the whole game.  He smiled at Colin and resolved to come up with something for the remainder.

 

            “What Ryan Stiles is thinking right now.”

 

            Brad beat him to the stage.  “I wonder if his head is as smooth as it looks.”  Colin folded his arms over his chest.

 

            Ryan waved for Wayne to go ahead of him.  “If I make up an artist, I’ll sound smart, right?”  Ryan played along and frowned at him.

 

            “Mmmm… Colin kisses even better than my wife.”  Brad declared, making kissing noises.  Colin and Drew both glanced fearfully at Ryan for any sign of reaction. Colin brushed his hand against his own in what was undoubtedly supposed to be a comforting gesture.   Ryan considered that he should probably look upset given what Colin believed transpired the night before, and made an effort to do so, but he also really did think that Colin was a better kisser than his wife, though he was smart enough not to mention this aloud.

 

            Colin was on the stage an instant later.  “I bet I could throw him off the roof and make it look like an accident.” 

 

            The audience roared in laughter and Ryan had to wait a minute before he could be heard.  Everyone was watching him expectantly, like he would have the “right” answer.  He fidgeted from side to side.  “Man, I have to pee.”

 

            Drew decided to end the torture there, and listed off a few more suggestions, which Ryan made an effort to join in.   When it got to “Alternative forms of Hell”, Ryan immediately stepped forward.

 

            “And that’s a thousand points to Colin for that great Hoedown.  And on to our next game, Hoedown!”

 

            Drew ended the game there with a malicious gleam in his eye.   “A thousand points to Colin.  And on to our next game, Hoedown!”

 

            “NOOOOOO!!!”  Ryan exclaimed, running to the front of the stage and pretending to pound on glass.  “I can’t take this anymore!”

 

            When everyone was settled, the Hoedown went by in a blur.  Ryan thought he did pretty well and didn’t mind it so much after so long a break from doing Hoedowns.   Colin “pulled a Colin” and fainted halfway through his verse, which only served to make Ryan’s better by comparison.   Ryan was practically skipping back to his seat. 

 

.o0o.

 


	4. Chapter 4

.o0o.

7         

.o0o.

 

            When filming finally came to an end, Ryan grabbed Colin’s hand and dragged him off the stage like an over-eager child.  Colin, of course, let him.  This was Ryan, after all, and he had an awful habit of letting the man drag him anywhere he wanted.  This time, Ryan wanted to drag him into Dan’s office of all places. 

 

            “Why are we in Dan’s office?”  Colin immediately asked.

 

            Ryan waved his question off like it was completely obvious.  “Because it’s the last place anyone would look for me.” Colin gave him a suspicious look and followed his lead, sitting in the chair opposite of the desk while Ryan snooped around the room. 

 

            “And why don’t we want to be found?”

 

            Ryan stretched and there was a loud pop from his back.  “God, my back is killing me.”

 

            “That’s probably because you slept in your car.”  Colin informed him matter-of-factly.  “Seriously, who are we avoiding?  The only person I can think that you’d want to avoid right now is Dan, but then, this would be an awfully stupid place to hide.”

 

            “Maybe.  Except that even Dan wouldn’t look for me here.  It could be brilliant.”  Ryan replied.   “What do you think happens to you after you die?” 

 

            Colin blinked at the sudden change in conversation.  Ryan had been talking an awful lot about death today.   It was beginning to make him nervous.   Still, what more could he do than keep a careful eye on him, like he already was?  “Well, I’m a Christian.” Colin began slowly.  Ryan nodded absently because this wasn’t news.  “But I’m also a bit of a cynic.”

 

            “So, what?  There’s a heaven but you won’t get to go there?”

 

            Colin snorted.  “Something like that.”

 

            “Do you believe in time travel?”  Ryan continued as if Colin were finished, though they both knew he had barely scratched the surface of the first topic.    Colin was starting to think that maybe they weren’t hiding at all, maybe something was seriously wrong with Ryan.  But that was just the cynic in him, right?

 

            “Do you?”

 

            “I didn’t yesterday.  Or I won’t.”

 

            Colin frowned.   There was no way Ryan really believed he was from the future, no matter how that had sounded, right? “Why are we really in here?”

 

            “I told you.   It’s the last place she’ll look for me.”

 

            “She?  God, Ryan, this is all about avoiding Pat?  You’re not going to be able to hide from this.  And I’m not going to be an enabler.”   Colin ignored the slightly hurt look that appeared on Ryan’s face, and hurried from the office.

 

.o0o.

 

.o0o.

8

.o0o.

 

            Ryan loitered around in Dan’s office for a few minutes to try to organize his thoughts. So there wasn’t really a good way of telling someone that you thought you’d traveled back in time.  Not even your best friend.  Granted, Ryan could probably have planned that whole thing out a bit better or at all, but Colin hadn’t reacted well either. 

 

            He emerged from the room in time to spot his wife slapping Colin across the face in front of the green room.  “How long have you been fucking my husband?”  She demanded.  And if Ryan could hear her from down the hall, he had a fair guess that most of the people backstage had heard her. 

 

            Colin was gaping like a fish, looking torn between outrage and incredulous laughter, but having certainly been abandoned by his words.  For the briefest moments, Ryan considered leaving him to his fate, letting him realize that Ryan had been avoiding Pat for good reason, and that he had been justified.   Then, Ryan recalled that however far removed he felt from this situation at the moment, he was at the very center of it and that action would be far too cruel to both Pat and Colin.  

 

            Ryan calmly approached; Pat turned her furious expression on him, only to appear slightly cowed at his completely unruffled response.   “How’s Donald?”  He asked casually.   “Or is it Ed Willard these days?”  He continued, keeping his voice carefully low so that it wouldn’t carry and dropping two of the names of the men he’d learned his wife had slept with many years ago. 

 

            Ryan felt a slight smirk start to slip on his face despite his best efforts to remain neutral.  Partly, it was due to Pat’s paling expression, but mostly, it was the sudden realization that he held all of the cards.  He’d given up a lot of his moral high-ground the first time around by going after the names of Pat’s lovers in a misbegotten attempt to find his children’s biological parents and ensure he wouldn’t lose them.  This time, however, Pat would be the one bending. 

 

            “I’ll be stopping by next week with the paperwork and lawyers.  We can discuss terms then.  For now, I suggest you leave before we also have to discuss trespassing as well.”  Ryan finished off levelly.

 

            This time, it was Pat who was gaping.  Actually, Colin was gaping afresh as well.  Probably because he wasn’t known for his collected responses to emotional turmoil.  She stood silent for a moment, and Ryan walked away, tugging Colin with him and into the green room because it was really the quickest escape.  Ryan fixed some coffee, ignoring the stares of everyone in the room and sedately took a sip.   He passed a cup to Colin. 

 

            “I noticed that you didn’t bother to tell her that we’re not actually sleeping together.”  Colin finally commented harshly.

 

            “If you think it’ll help, I’ll tell her right now.”  Ryan offered, setting his coffee down.  “I doubt she’s made it out of the building yet.”

 

            Colin shook his head slowly.  “I’ve gotta call my wife.”

 

            After Colin left the room, Ryan sat down on the couch with his coffee.  Brad, Wayne and Drew were all looking torn between wanting to be a good friend and wanting to leave the awkward situation. 

 

            Brad cleared his throat and spoke first.  “Hey man, I didn’t realize you were having problems.  I’m sorry about my comments earlier.”

 

            “Don’t worry about it.”  Ryan returned easily.

           

            Drew was next.  “You know, if you need some time off…”

 

            “I don’t.”   Ryan said curtly. 

 

            There was an awkward silence.  It was the kind of awkward silence where everyone was looking for a tactical retreat, but no one wanted to employ theirs first for fear of being seen as an unsupportive friend.  Or perhaps it was a fear of drawing too much attention to themselves.   Ryan thought it was all rather humorous.  He had to admit, given his reputation for a temper, he wouldn’t have wanted to be in their shoes at the moment. 

 

            After a few solid minutes of silence, Ryan decided to have pity on his coworkers and broke the ice with some humor.  “I’m just glad she waited until we were offstage to explode.  Could you imagine if she came storming in like that in the middle of our show?”

 

            “Speaking of explode…”  Wayne muttered barely loud enough for Ryan to catch.  He followed his eyes to the door where Colin had just returned.

 

            Colin was rarely angry.  When he was angry, it was usually a long fuse that simmered for a while and eventually burnt out.  Today, he seemed to have skipped straight to the detonation phase.  “Does everyone think Ryan and I are sleeping together?”  He exclaimed upon storming into the room.

 

            Brad raised his hand because he was Brad and that meant utterly fearless in the name of a joke.  Drew and Wayne decided it was worth chancing a second later and joined him.  Snickering slightly, Ryan put up his hand, too.  Colin zoned in on the latter with a menacing look.  “My wife!”  He began, “My wife thinks we’re sleeping together, Ryan.”   Colin narrowed his eyes.  “And you don’t look too goddamn surprised.”

 

            Ryan realized his mistake too late.  Just because he knew that Deb thought they’d been sleeping together didn’t mean that he should know that yet.  Colin always could read him like a book.  He kept his silence.

 

            “You say something to her?”

 

            “No.  Of course not.”

 

            “She say something to you?”

 

            “No.”

 

            “Liar.”   Colin proclaimed before storming out of the room.   Ryan decided that he’d probably be finding his own way home that night.

 

            “Never seen you two fight before.”  Drew commented from the relative safety of the opposite side of the room. 

 

            “I need a drink.”  Ryan declared, realizing as he said it how very true it was.  He’d managed to somehow magically be transported back in time and still lose Colin.   There was nothing Colin hated more than when Ryan lied to him.  It was why Ryan made an active effort never to do so. 

 

            So he drank a little bit from a bottle stashed in his trailer, and he drank a little bit more in the taxi who gave him a weird look when he asked what year it was.  1998.  Whose Line was only just beginning the U.S.  He drank a little more from a bottle left over in his car when he got to the hotel, and then he drank some more before he laid down a bet with the 50 grand he had previously used to upgrade to a much nicer car last time he was in March 1998 because he happened to know that it was a very good year for the underdog.

 

            He thought maybe he should go apologize to Colin.  Colin would forgive him.  He had to forgive him, or what was the whole point of going back in time? He always forgave him, whether he deserved it or not.  Would have even forgiven him the night he stormed out after their last argument if he hadn’t died.  At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

 

            Unfortunately, he didn’t make it back to apologize to Colin.

.o0o.

 


	5. Chapter 5

.o0o.

Part 9

.o0o.

 

            It was a conversation that Colin wasn’t likely to forget anytime soon.  Deb had basically said that she’d always assumed that he and Ryan were together since before they’d gotten married and that’s what she was marrying into.  Colin was aghast and explained that he had never cheated, and would never cheat on her.  Again and again he’d declared that he and Ryan had never slept together.  He wasn’t even sure she believed him by the time he’d hung up.

 

            It’s not like he’d never thought about Ryan like that before; it was hard not to when most of their jokes had underlying sexual meaning when they weren’t overtly sexual.  He knew, logically, that Ryan was attractive and he knew, personally, that he was attracted to Ryan on far more than a platonic level, but he wasn’t into guys and they were both married.  That’s not how things were between them.

 

            So Colin stormed back into the green room and vented his frustration at the guys, wondering how Ryan managed to fit the entirety of his gigantic foot into his mouth and took off.   He expected Ryan to come back to him that night, but he hadn’t. 

 

            Ryan wasn’t big on apologies, never had been, never would be.  But he’d make it clear in his own way that he was sorry for what he’d done or said, and Colin would forgive him anyway.  He’d shuffle into the room with his head bowed like a dog with its tail between its legs and how that didn’t hurt his pride more than an apology, Colin didn’t know.  Or maybe he’d momentarily give up their unspoken agreement not to call for idle conversation and dial his number with no direct purpose in mind but apologizing and even though the words “I’m sorry” never came up, they were always clearly said.

 

            Colin tried not to worry when Ryan didn’t turn up or call the first night because he’s a grown man and it’s taken him weeks to come around to apologizing before, no matter how far into the wrong he was, and Ryan had certainly crossed a line this time.  Deb had obviously talked to Ryan about their supposed relationship, and Ryan had clearly not persuaded her against it, nor had he bothered to tell Colin about Deb’s suspicions.   Hell, maybe Ryan had even started the rumor for some reason; he certainly didn’t seem to care that his own wife thought they were together.   He didn’t know what Ryan was playing at, and it was driving him crazy because he always knew what Ryan was up to, usually before he did.

 

            Colin fell into a restless sleep that he told himself only involved Ryan because he’d been disturbed by the conversation with his wife the previous evening.

 

            He was awoken far too early the next morning by a phone call from the man himself to come bail him out of jail for a DUI.

 

            Colin decided that he’s going to make very certain that Ryan knew exactly how he felt about this situation.  If he thought he was angry the day before, well, Colin was going to make a volcano look timid today.   He waited patiently while filling out paperwork until he had Ryan fidgeting nervously on the bed of the hotel room before letting his fury loose. 

 

            “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”  Colin asked in a cold, harsh tone.  He didn’t wait for a response.  “You’ve put people in danger!  Risked your life and others!  Jeopardized your career! If Dan gets wind of this, it could be grounds for termination, and that’s just the start.”  Colin was only a fraction of the way into his rant, but every word seemed to be driving a stake further into Ryan’s heart.  He looked so pitiful, hopeless and needy, that Colin couldn’t keep up his tirade, no matter how well deserved.   Concern began to creep into the cracks of his anger and flow over him.  “How long has this been going on?”

 

            Ryan looked confused.  Colin wondered if it was at the sudden change in attitude or if he genuinely didn’t know he had a problem.

 

            “The drinking.”

 

            Ryan seemed to struggle with himself for a while, so Colin gave him the time he needed to come up with the response, “A while.”

 

            “You have a problem.”

 

            “I know.”

 

            “Why didn’t you come to me?”

 

            “I couldn’t.”

 

            “Let me help you.”

 

            Ryan simply nodded. 

 

            Colin began by emptying the alcohol from his car, his trailer, and every stash Colin could possibly think of.   As he continued the process, he started to wonder how he didn’t realize this was a problem sooner.  Ryan had booze stashed away everywhere.  Finally, he got his friend to consent to attend AA meetings, which he was reluctant about until Colin agreed to go with him. 

 

 

.o0o.

10

.o0o.

 

            Ryan decided that life was perfect. 

 

            It didn’t matter that he had to attend AA meetings for an alcoholism problem that had a route in events that hadn’t happened yet and he couldn’t talk about.   Or that AA meetings are not so anonymous when you’re famous. 

 

            It didn’t matter that he was in the middle of a rather heated divorce which was doubly as strenuous as the first time around because he’s on his toes about fighting with everything he’s got to get joint custody instead of getting screwed over by Pat’s future lover, the lawyer.

 

             It didn’t matter that he was being flamed in the tabloids for questionable conduct for alcoholism and violent behavior.  It hadn’t helped that he’d nearly slugged the paparazzi after he insinuated that Pat was leaving him for domestic violence and would have if Colin weren’t tailing him. 

 

            It didn’t matter that he was staying at a hotel and Pat destroyed no small number of his personal belongings. 

 

            It didn’t matter that he’d been abstaining from alcohol and Colin’s been there 24 hours a day to ensure he sticks to it. 

 

            It didn’t matter because for the first time in a long, long, time, he got to spend his days with his best friend again and life was perfect.  He quickly decided that he’s going to tell Colin how he feels about him and soon because there is no way he was wasting another four years trying to make things work with Pat and an additional two year acknowledging that Pat was over but in denial about his feelings for Colin.  There was no way he was going to wait the six years of undying support from Colin to finally fall into bed with him in a sexually frustrated haze of lust.  And he was absolutely not shunning Colin for the following six months while he tried to pretend that his image mattered more to him than the man he loved, when just the first mind-blowing kiss had said there was no competition.  His opportunity came more quickly than he’d expected.

 

            Wrap-up parties always transformed into something unexpected.  This year, they’d actually managed to stay at the studio without someone suggesting moving to a bar to get very drunk, and Ryan couldn’t help but consider that it was Colin’s influence that had done it.  In fact, there was very little alcohol being passed around at all, and none of it had been offered to him.  Also Colin’s influence, he was sure. Still, Ryan didn’t mind too terribly because Colin wasn’t leaving his side and he had to consider this as his first test to see if he could handle himself.   Ryan wasn’t going to let him down.

 

            Still, the party was on the dreary side without the usual beverages helping to alleviate some of the tension and it likely would have gone on that way had Wayne not hopped onto the piano and begun to sing karaoke.  Brad joined him a minute later, harmonizing to what might have been a completely different song, and everyone seemed to relax.

 

            After a few songs, Brad and Wayne started play fighting over the microphone and people lost interest in their impromptu stage.  Colin turned to Greg and started up a conversation about his plans for the next couple months, and Ryan took the opportunity to fetch an acoustic guitar from the pile of instruments and plop himself on a stool.   Wayne and Brad stopped fighting and came to a sudden, silent agreement to set up the microphone in front of him and yield the stage.  And then everyone in the room seemed to take notice, and it got very quiet.  Ryan wasn’t known for his musical numbers, so everyone was curious about what he would do.

 

            “I didn’t know he played the guitar.”  Greg whispered to Colin, his voice catching in the quiet of the room.

 

            “He… doesn’t?”  Colin responded with a slight lift to his voice. 

 

            Ryan smiled at him.  He’d never thought of himself as musically inclined, but the guitar held special meaning to him ever since he’d been able to bond with Mackenzie over it.  Pat had resolutely refused to let her play, so like the rebellious teenager she was, Mack had come over to her father’s house to practice.  Ryan surprised them all by getting lessons for himself and Colin as well as Mack, and it was the first time that his daughter had really warmed up to the idea of his father with another man. 

 

            Of course, they only ever learned the songs Mackenzie wanted, so his repertoire consisted of teenage angst, but he certainly didn’t mind and Colin’s soft smile and unending willingness to try said that he didn’t mind much either.

 

            Ryan carefully selected a song before tapping out a quick beat and starting to strum.  He knew Colin liked the tune, even if it hadn’t been written yet, and he thought it summarized his feelings pretty well, without being an open declaration of love, which would probably give Colin a heart-attack. 

 

            “Restless tonight/ Cause I wasted the light…”

 

            Ryan can’t help but think about all the time he’s wasted.  In a friendship that had lasted well over twenty years, where he’d felt such a deep love for so long and denied it, they’d only been together as a couple for a year. 

           

            “Between both these times / I drew a really thin line / It’s nothing I planned/  And not that I can/ But you should be mine/ Across that line.”

 

            He’d never meant to fall in love with his best friend, but somewhere along the way, it’d happened.  They were meant to be together.   He’d had two shots at this, and the first time around, he’d really messed up.  He’d drawn a line between them and demanded that they never cross it, but as their friendship progressed, the line got thinner and thinner until neither even knew if it was really there anymore of if they were just pretending. 

 

            “If I traded it all / If I gave it all away for one thing / Just for one thing / If I sorted it out / If I knew all about this one thing / Wouldn’t that be something”

 

            This time, he was prepared to give up everything he had for Colin.   He wasn’t going to try to balance or take the best of both worlds; he just wanted Colin.   Ryan knew Colin better than anyone, better than even his wife knew him.  Didn’t that count for something?

.o0o.

           


	6. Chapter 6

.o0o.

Part 11

.o0o.

 

            Colin rearranged himself in his seat next to the window of the airplane, thankful that he’d be having some time away from Ryan to clear his head.  Colin had checked his math at least a dozen times and still came up with the same answer.  Ryan was in love with him. 

 

            Sure, he’d said as much to Pat when they were arguing on the phone, but at the time, Colin had assumed he was just going for the reaction.  But then, he hadn’t told Pat they weren’t sleeping together and possibly had told Deb that they were.   But the cincher was the song Ryan had brazenly sung last night (and since when did he know how to play the guitar?). Okay, so maybe it wasn’t brazen, but the message was as clear as day to Colin, which he supposed had been Ryan’s intention.  It was the intonation and the phrasing and where he’d catch Colin’s eyes. _And you should be mine/ Across that line_.

 

            “Can I offer you an upgrade?” The sound of a very familiar voice draws Colin’s attention to the tall man hunched in the aisle talking to the woman sitting next to him.  Oh no. 

 

            “For free?”  The woman asks suspiciously.

 

            “Yes.  You see, I’ve bought this ticket,” Ryan flashes his ticket, “but I’d rather sit back here next to my friend.”

 

            “Yeah, okay.”  The woman grins up at Ryan, gathers her things and squeezes past him toward the front of the plane.

 

            Colin waits until Ryan has successfully folded his lanky frame into the tiny seat, leaning sideways in his chair to try to generate more legroom and stretching one knee out into the aisle.  Colin watches him with some amusement and thinks back to the way he’d diligently followed him around his hotel room that first day.   Maybe that Ryan was still there.  “What are you doing?” He finally asked.

 

            “Going to Toronto?”   It was pitched as a question.

 

            “Why?”

 

            “I’m currently not exactly a welcome face in my home.”

 

            “So you assume you can stay with me?”  Normally, Colin acknowledged, it wouldn’t even be a question, but with all the strangeness between them, it was almost painful to contemplate.

 

            “You said I was always welcome at your house.”

 

            “That’s just something people say!”  Colin grumbled.  “You still have to ask first!”

 

            “Relax.”  Ryan coaxed, “I’m staying at a hotel.  I would, however, love to visit you for dinner.”

 

            “Fine.”

 

            Colin ignored Ryan for a good chunk of the flight, noting how his friend tensed during take-off and didn’t seem to really relax afterwards.  Still, it was pretty impressive that he’d gotten on the plane of his own volition in the first place, even if it had ruined Colin’s plans.  After about half the trip had passed, Colin finally blurted out the question on his mind.  “What’s with you lately anyway?  Half the time, it’s like you’ve been replaced by some pod person.”

 

            “I’m from the future.”  Ryan said it with such sincerity that Colin wasn’t sure how to respond.

 

              “Oh.”  Colin paused while the flight attendant passed by and got himself some water.  He took a sip.  “So tell me something that’s going to happen.”

           

            “I can’t, by going to the past, I’ve already altered what happened in my timeline.  For instance, I never joined you on this airplane, so I have no idea what’ll happen on it.  Maybe we’ll crash.”  Ryan shuddered.

 

             “That’s convenient explanation.” 

 

            “It’s really not.”

 

            Colin knew Ryan well enough to know that he was being serious, but his story was so crazy, he wasn’t sure what to make of it.  Did Ryan really believe he was from the future?  Maybe it was some kind of extended metaphor.  Whatever the case, he decided to play along.  “How’d you get to the past?”

           

            “Dunno.  One minute I’m drinking myself silly, the next minute I wake up in the parking lot of your hotel in 1998.  I thought maybe I’d died.  Still not convinced I didn’t.”

 

            “What am I like in the future?”

 

            “You’re dead.  Every time you leave my sight, I’m afraid you might go back to being dead.”

 

            Colin was struck by this answer because people made up stories about the future and time travel, but who made up stories about their best friends being dead.  And certainly that explained Ryan’s behavior when he first found him in the car, his refusal to let him out of his sight.  Him repeatedly asking if he was dead.  Then Colin shook his head. There was no way he was buying this cockamamie story.   It just wasn’t possible.  “When did you learn to play the guitar?”

 

            “A few years back with Mack.  You learned it, too.”

 

            “Ry, just stop it with this story, okay?  People are going to think you’re nuts.”

 

            “Maybe I am.”  Ryan mumbled.

 

            So Colin returned to his wife and thought about Ryan’s crazy story, but mostly he thought about the ways in which it didn’t seem all that crazy.

 

.o0o.

 

.o0o.

12

.o0o.

 

            That night, Ryan dreamt of the argument that sent Colin out of the house on a snowy night in December. It was a familiar argument because there were very few things that they ever argued about that actually brought up such raw emotion that they felt the need for a break from each other.  Colin said he was ashamed of them, that he still feared being outed as a gay couple, that they would always be living in the shadows.  Colin had asked, demanded that he be allowed to hold his hand in public, because really, he’d already given up so much for Ryan, a wife that loved him, something Ryan had given up for other reasons.  Colin was the one out on a limb.   Ryan was afraid. Then there was the sound of one car colliding with a commercial truck and the sight of the drunk driver that had caused so much devastation, but was able to walk away.  Except today the driver looked like himself because he was the one that was driving drunk now, the one that could have killed Colin.

 

            Ryan woke with a start and made it to the bathroom in time to hurl.  The thought of driving drunk was more effective than Antabuse. He’d never actually taken the stuff, but he remembered filming an episode of the Drew Carey Show where they’d mistakenly taken the drug and couldn’t drink for weeks. 

 

            As he sat on the bathroom floor with the smell of vomit still strong in his nostrils, Ryan thought about the argument that had driven Colin from his house, their house, and resulted in his death.  He’d come out publicly just a few weeks later, but that was years in the future.  He wasn’t going to let that ever be an argument between him and Colin this time around. 

 

            Dialing his agent, he made the startling request.  He was asked two dozen times if he was sure he wanted to do this, but he was.

 

.o0o.

 

.o0o.

13

.o0o.

 

            Colin dried his hands and looked over the feast he’d prepared.  He loved to cook, and it was good to be home with his family.  The phone rang and he picked it up without a second thought.  “Colin Mochrie.”

 

            “Hey Colin, it’s Drew.”

 

            “Hey Drew.  What’s up?”

 

            “I was wondering if you’d seen Ryan?”

 

            Ryan and Deb were setting the table a few feet away but Colin still let out a sigh.  “Why does everyone always assume I know where he is?”

 

            “No need to get all upset, I’m just not sure where he’s staying since he’s obviously not at his own house and thought he’d probably tell you, and what with this article...”

 

            “What article?”

 

            “Well, apparently, someone outed Ryan, and not just a tabloid, but a legitimate newspaper.”

 

            “Outed?” 

 

            “Yeah, you know, as gay.”

 

            “Ryan’s not gay.”

 

            “That’s why I’m trying to get ahold of him.   He wasn’t answering his phone and-”

 

            Ryan was suddenly next to him, gently taking the phone from his hands.  “It’s okay, Drew, the notification came from my own office.  I okayed it.  Goodbye, Drew.”

 

            Colin stared blankly at Ryan for several long seconds as he put away the phone and started moving dishes to the table.

 

            “Why would you do that?” Colin asked when he found his voice.  “Is this about Pat?  Are you trying to create reason for the divorce, because there are better ways.” Colin was completely baffled.  The move was so unlike anything he’d ever expect from Ryan.  Even if he were gay, Ryan would never come out so publicly.  

 

            “It has nothing to do with Pat.  I wanted to do this.”

 

            Luke came bursting in, asking if dinner was ready, so the conversation was dropped but Colin caught sight of his wife looking at Ryan speculatively and had a sudden sinking in his stomach.  This wasn’t about Pat at all.  This was about him.

 

            Dinner conversation was awkward at first and they mostly gravitated toward talking about Luke and his school as they were the safest topics.  By the end of the meal, Luke was itching to get out of the spot light.  Once his plate was cleared, he asked, “Can I go play the new game Uncle Ryan got me now?”

 

            “Sure.”  Deb nods her assent and Luke takes off running.  Then, Colin’s wife turned her attention to Ryan and, dauntless, asked what happened between him and Pat.

 

            Colin half expected Ryan to explain about the cheating in angry tones because it was personal, but he also tended to lash out when he was angry.  Instead, Ryan gave a half-shrug.  “I wasn’t Pat’s first choice anymore and she’s not mine.  Life’s too short for me to spend it trying to work out how to settle for someone I don’t love anymore.”

 

            Deb gave him a contemplative look.                             

 

.o0o.

 


	7. Chapter 7

.o0o.

Part 14

.o0o.

 

            Ryan was tired.   He’d been growing progressively more tired because every night was filled with the same nightmares and he kept waking up wondering if he was back in the future and Colin was dead or if he was sleeping peacefully a few miles away.  He’d pick up the phone and get halfway through dialing the number before he recalled that it was rude to call people in the middle of the night, and he didn’t really need any more checks in his crazy column. 

 

            Thus, Ryan was already awake when there was a pounding on his hotel door at two in the morning.  Colin pushed into his room without waiting for permission and the immediate thrill at seeing Colin faded by the furious look that had taken over his eyes. 

 

            “What the hell did you say to her?”

 

            “Deb?” Ryan hazarded a guess with a furrowed brow. He thought back to the dinner they’d shared.  He hadn’t even been alone with Deb.  “I didn’t say anything to her you didn’t hear.  You were with me the whole time.  What’s going on?”

 

            “You had to have said something.”  Colin accused, stabbing a finger into Ryan’s chest.  “We just spent the last six hours talking.  She wants to leave me.”  He was barely able to choke these words out.  “This is all because you sent out that stupid article, and she thinks I want to be with you.” Colin growled in a cross between confusion, hurt and anger.  He settled on anger.  “This is your fault.”

 

            This wasn’t how it had happened the last time.  Colin’s split from Deb had been calm, slow and amicable.  Colin had never been this devastated mess that was pointing fingers at him and looking ready to pounce.  Of course, the Colin of his timeline had had years to adjust to the shifts between them, to grow into it, and to make slow, comfortable changes.

 

            “Colin, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

             “The hell you didn’t!”  Colin was pushing against him, shoving him and throwing angry punches, and they were grappling with each other in a way that did not resemble their phoney stage punches.  They tumbled to the ground. 

 

            Ryan thought Colin might actually want to hurt him.  He had always loved Deb, maybe not the same way he loved Ryan, but he did care for her deeply.   Tears prickled at his eyes, and Ryan sought for something to say that could ease his pain and erase the damage he’d done.  Instead, he was caught off guard and knocked sideways with a solid hit to his chin. 

 

           

            Colin pounced on top of him, pinned him to the ground, his face inches from his own.  He no longer seemed intent on hurting him, so Ryan stopped struggling.  Then Colin leaned down and kissed him, tentatively at first, and then with more vigor.  Ryan slipped a hand out and pulled Colin closer, deepening the kiss and trying desperately to show him how much he was loved. 

 

            Then, abruptly, Colin was jerking unsteadily to his feet and backing away.  He gazed at Ryan with wide eyes, as if unable to comprehend what had just happened and ran from the room.  Fuck.

 

.o0o.

 

.o0o.

15

.o0o.

 

            Colin couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss.  He couldn’t stop thinking about how well Ryan had responded, how he’d clearly been yearning to kiss him for some time.  He couldn’t stop thinking about the spark of passion that ignited even while (or maybe because) he was still angry.  He couldn’t stop thinking about all the times they’d almost kissed before, always playfully, never daring to close the gap.   But mostly, Colin couldn’t stop thinking about how strong his own feelings were in return and how badly he wanted to be with Ryan.

 

            “It’s okay to love him.”  Deb said softly as she came into the dining room where they both frequently sat together in comfortable silence and did their work.

 

            “And what about us?”

 

            “Life’s too short to spend it trying to make it work it out with someone who isn’t your first choice.”  Deb echoed Ryan’s words.  Colin had known it was Ryan’s influence that caused his wife to bring up the topic of divorce, but the new flood of emotions kept him from feeling that initial anger all over again. 

 

            “I’m not your first choice?”

 

            “I’m not yours.”  Deb said firmly. Colin kept his silence.  He wasn’t sure if he could truthfully argue against her.  “Look, there was a time not very long ago that I would have fought to keep you apart because I didn’t think Ryan would treat you like you deserved and you’d be unhappy.   But, god, Colin, he came out publicly on the off-chance that you take him.  He’s made it damn clear that you’re his first choice, and I can’t stand between you two and make us all miserable.”

 

            “Deb.”  Colin called, halting her progress as she moved out of the room.  “I love you.”

 

            “I’ll still be here.”

 

            “I love Luke.”

 

            “He’ll still be here.”

 

            “I love my life.”

 

            “Call Ryan.”

 

            So, Colin called Ryan and they agreed to meet at a café.  Colin wasn’t prepared to admit this to Ryan, but he honestly didn’t trust himself alone with Ryan anymore.  He had been furious with Ryan last time and still ended up kissing the man. 

 

            “I’m not leaving Deb for you.”  These were the first words out of Colin’s mouth, and as he said them he incongruously stared at Ryan’s lips, thinking once again about how it felt to kiss them.

 

            “I’m not asking you to.”

 

            Colin licked his lips, took a sip of coffee and forced himself to meet Ryan’s eyes.  “So you’re from the future.”

 

            “Yes.”

 

            “And you and I are together.”

 

            “Were.  Yes.”

 

            “But I died.”

 

            “Yes.”

 

            “How did I die?”

 

            “Car accident.”  There was a long pause.  Colin took the time to process what Ryan had said.  It was very unsettling.  “What made you believe I was from the future all of a sudden?”

 

            “I don’t.”  Colin replied bluntly.  “That’s absolutely insane.  But the answer has gotta be there somewhere.  You’re not Ryan, but you are.  Ryan doesn’t have a drinking problem.   He doesn’t skip down the stage to give a hoedown.  He doesn’t make up artists that don’t exist.  He doesn’t play the guitar and sing of his undying love for me.  He sure as hell doesn’t look at me with the kind of ador… like that.  He doesn’t make up stories about coming from the future, either.  So I figure you’re either going crazy, you’re actually from the future, or there’s some other explanation that I haven’t worked out yet.  In any case, I want to hear what you have to say.”

 

“Where should I start?”

 

“Start from today and go forward from there, I guess.”  The instructions were vague at best, but Ryan did as he was told.  Ryan’s story was stilted and abbreviated, filled with switching from ‘you’ to ‘he’ and back again, but Colin got the general idea.  It was a future that he could believe, present situation considered, about divorce and love and death. Then Colin asked a question that Ryan’s expression clearly stated hadn’t occurred to him.  “So you’re like a spirit of some sort, possessing your past self.  But if you’re here, where’s… my Ryan.  The Ryan that’s supposed to be here?”

 

“I have no idea.  I guess he’s still here, I’ve just added on some memories he didn’t have before.”

 

            “Look, I’m not saying I believe any of this, but can’t you just, will yourself away?”

 

            “I don’t know, but I don’t want to.  My past self ruined everything.  I’m fixing things.”

 

            “Like me and Deb?”

 

            “Trying to fix things.  A world where you’re alive is better, even if I don’t get to be with you.”

 

            Colin thought for a long time while Ryan sulked.  “Okay.  How about a solution that makes everyone happy?  You came back in time or whatever because I died.  If I don’t die, you never come back in time to fix things.  Then I get my Ryan back.”  And things go back to normal.  Colin added silently.

 

            “So you want to create a paradox?  Because we don’t know what that will do.  We could create some rip in the time space continuum and destroy the multiverse.  Or some shit.”

 

            “Or we create an alternate timeline where I don’t die.  Look, you’ve already messed up the timeline anyway.  Nothing is happening exactly as it did before and if that whole butterfly effect is true, that means that it’s a billion times worse than we even know.  Besides, you can’t tell me that there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that you won’t try to save me.”

 

            Ryan shook his head.  “If that’s the case, then I’ve already created the paradox by coming out in the newspaper. That’s why we argued.  That’s why you left the night you died.  That should have prevented you from dying.”

 

“And yet, you’re still here.”

 

“I’m still here.”

 

.o0o.

 

 

.o0o.

16

.o0o.

 

            Ryan thought a lot about what Colin said.  Where was the other Ryan?  What was he?  Did he really have the right to be messing around with the past?  Mostly, his mind circled around one word: spirit.  Colin had implied that he was dead.  Maybe that was true.  It had been his intention, after all.  Maybe this was all some weird form of after-life?  If that was true, he had every right to be changing anything he wanted, right?  And if it weren’t, well, why was he here?

 

            Colin had died one day short of their first anniversary, storming out because of Ryan’s unwillingness to change even after a full year together.  In the years that followed, Ryan had often come back to the injustice of not even having one year as a couple and losing that final day together. 

 

            “Why are we here?”  Colin asked from the seat next to him, looking around outside the car for clues and effectively ending Ryan’s train of thought. 

 

            Ryan paused and looked around, finally settling his gaze on a young, attractive man getting out of a commercial van.  “That guy.”  

 

            “And here I thought you were just interested in me.”

 

            “Everyone’s a comedian.”  Ryan shook his head with a slight smile that quickly faded.  “He has a drinking problem.”

 

            Colin raised his eyebrows, obviously not seeing the connection.  “You meet him at AA?”

 

            “No.  He’s the one that killed you.”

 

            “Oh.”  Colin looked back out towards the man and cocked his head to the side, his face and thoughts completely inscrutable.

 

            “Do you think it’s wrong to kill someone if you know for a fact that they’re going to kill someone else?”  Ryan asked in a tone that one might use to comment on the weather.

 

            “It’s irrelevant because you’ve changed the past.  We no longer know for certain that he’s the one that will kill me.  Besides, we don’t need to kill him to stop it from happening.  We just need to make sure that he’s not drinking that night.”  Colin scratched his chin thoughtfully, as if they hadn’t just seriously discussed murder.  “As you pointed out, you already solved the problem that caused me to walk out and into that accident.  I already know the time and date that I was supposed to die and can therefore avoid it.”

 

            “And you’re not leaving Deb for me.”  Ryan added.  “So the whole scenario is moot.”

 

            There was a long pause, and Ryan couldn’t help the flare of hope that emerged in his chest at Colin’s lack of confirmation.  Maybe there was a chance they could still get together.  Maybe he hadn’t ruined things between them.  Colin sighed.  “Deb’s seeing someone.”

 

            “But you’re still living together.”

 

            “Not exactly.”

 

            “Col-”

 

            “I just needed some time to sort things out in my head, okay?  I’m still welcome in my house and I know I can always bunk up with you, but I wanted to be by myself for a while.”

 

            The silence dragged on, and Ryan suddenly felt inadequate.  He was who Colin wanted, but he was also the man standing in the way of who Colin really wanted, if he hadn’t completely destroyed their chances of ever getting together.  “We could try an exorcism.”

 

            “Wait. What?”

 

            “To rid my past body of my future spirit.   What, you believe in time travel now but not exorcisms?”

 

            “I don’t even know what I believe in anymore.”

 

.o0o.


	8. Chapter 8

.o0o.

Part 17

.o0o.

 

            Colin shifted nervously from foot to foot in front of Ryan’s door.  He wasn’t sure how well he’d be received.  They hadn’t been keeping contact very well since the end of the filming season, and while that wasn’t abnormal at all for them, it was a little peculiar to do after someone tells you they’re from the future.  Colin hadn’t known what to do and asked Ryan for space.  Ryan gave him two months of space without complaint.

 

            He wasn’t even sure he was at the right building as he’d scribbled down Ryan’s new address hastily and not entirely legibly.   At the time, he hadn’t even been sure he wanted to copy it down.  Now, after some time apart and Deb proving to be resolute in her desire for a divorce, Colin was willing to admit that being with Ryan had some appeal. 

           

            Being with Ryan was easy, fun and incredibly satisfying.  He always felt giddy inside whenever they worked together and pleasantly buzzed whenever they spent time together outside of work.   And according to Ryan, they’d already been in a relationship before, so maybe this all wasn’t so farfetched. 

 

            Okay, so the time travel bit was still a stretch for him, but seeming less and less implausible.   Colin knocked on the door.

 

            He wasn’t sure what he was doing there, really, or what he intended to say, but when Ryan answered the door, his mouth moved for him.  “I believe you.”

 

            Ryan didn’t ask about what, and Colin was thankful that he didn’t have to explain that he was on board with Ryan’s belief that he was from the future.   Instead, Ryan nodded, took his bag and invited him inside. 

 

            “Uncle Colin!”  Sam shrieked gleefully, running up to him and wrapping his arms around Colin’s waist.  Mack was next in line.  Colin squeezed them each and grinned up at Ryan.

 

            “So I take it things are going well with Pat.” 

 

            “We’re not on speaking terms yet, but you’ve got good timing.  We finished the paperwork two days ago, and I’ve got joint custody of the kids.”

 

            Colin sighed, feeling a bit bad for not being more supportive during Ryan’s divorce.  Ryan shooed the kids away to finish watching a movie and slapped him on the back.  “Don’t even think it.  I’ve already done this, remember?  This was a piece of cake compared to last time.  How are things on your front?”

 

            “Luke’s adjusting well.  Deb’s been seeing a few people, but nothing serious.  She’s adjusting well.  I’m… adjusting.”  Colin glanced into the living room.  “I didn’t mean to intrude on your time with your kids.”

 

            Ryan waved him off.  “Nah, they like you.  Besides, my time is unfortunately almost up.  Pat’ll be stopping by any minute to pick them up, and that woman is never late.”

 

            As if on cue, a car horn beeped twice outside, and Ryan spent the next ten minutes running around the house with his kids trying to find missing shoes and backpacks before hugging them both and sending them out the door.  Colin watched from the sidelines with a smile and waved the children off. 

 

            “What about Claire?”  Colin asked.

 

            Ryan’s head jerked up.  “You remember Claire?”

 

            “No, just that you mentioned her when you first… got here.  Now that you and Pat have separated… Well, things might not go the same way.”

 

            “I’ve spent a long time thinking about Claire.”  Ryan responded slowly.  “But I wasn’t her biological father, so staying with Pat for Claire’s sake wouldn’t have done anyone any good.  It kills me in a way that I can’t even describe to think that she might not exist, but maybe I can introduce Pat to Claire’s father this time around, and maybe we’ll have two happy families instead of one miserable one.”

 

            Colin nodded and by silent agreement, they moved into the kitchen to start preparing an early dinner for themselves.  Ryan got out the ingredients, and Colin quickly took over the preparations because while Ryan could cook, Colin _liked_ cooking, and that was enough to keep Ryan from running his own kitchen.

 

            “So what was it like coming out?”  Colin asked as he stirred the pot of stew.

 

            Ryan shrugged.  “About what I expected.  A bit more hatemail than last time, but strangely less strongly worded.”

 

            “I thought you said you didn’t come out before.”

 

            “Not while you were alive.  I kind of lost it for a while there after you died.” Ryan looked a little sheepish at this admission, and Colin tried to imagine what kind of crazy antics he’d gotten up to.  Colin could certainly imagine acting irrationally himself if Ryan died. They moved to the table and quickly devoured the food.  “It’s different in the future.”  Ryan continued while Colin was thinking.  “People are fighting hard for same-sex couples to get married.  It’s legal in a number of States.  But somehow, opposition is growing along with the support.”

 

            “How did we ever get together, anyway?”

 

            “I know it sounds like the worst cliché in history, but I realized I was in love with you the first time we kissed offstage.”

           

            “Offstage?”  Colin echoed, wondering why they were kissing offstage and when they’d been kissing on stage.

 

            “Yeah… in a couple years, you’ll have kissed the whole cast.”   Colin’s eyebrows shot up.  He supposed anything was possible, particularly for a joke, but he couldn’t really imagine the American version of Whose Line going along with a bunch of gay kisses. 

           

            “How long were we together?”

 

            “You died the day before our first anniversary.”

 

            Ouch.  Colin cringed, feeling somehow guilty, like he had been part of putting Ryan through this.   He thought it might be a good idea to change the subject.   “What were we like together?”

 

            Ryan made a face.  “It wasn’t really any different, except that we got to spend a lot more time together.”  Ryan leaned in playfully.  “And I could kiss you whenever I wanted.”

 

            Colin’s brain seemed to short-circuit at Ryan’s proximity, and he found himself closing the gap between them.  “You still can.”  He declared before kissing Ryan soundly    on the lips.

 

            “You’re not going to run away again?”  Ryan asked when they broke apart. 

 

            “Don’t think so.”  Colin replied, leaning in for another kiss. 

 

            “I love you.” The whispered words tingled down Colin’s spine.  “Bedroom?”  Ryan murmured hopefully.

 

            Colin nodded through the pounding of blood in his ears.   He still wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but he was willing to give them a shot.

 

.o0o.

 

.o0o.

18

.o0o.

 

            Ryan was pretty sure that his caliber of memory loss was not normal for a 40 year old man.  He was also a little afraid to go to the doctor’s office for fear of coming back with a verdict of early onset Alzheimer’s.  Which was how he ended up mostly ignoring the three month gap in his memory.  Besides, it wasn’t like it was completely gone, he had snippets of memories here and there that were confirmed like getting divorced from Pat.  He had other snippets which were unconfirmed and really very strange, perhaps dreams?  Like playing the guitar and kissing Colin.  Neither of those scenarios seemed all that realistic. 

 

            As near as he could piece together, he went on a really long, really heavy drinking binge after finding out that Pat was cheating on him for years with several different guys, and for the next couple months was barely in control of his own functions.  This idea was substantiated by memories of attending AA, Colin stealing his booze and the very real DUI he now had on his record.  Overall, he considered that it was probably for the best if he never remembered what happened.

 

            There were two mysteries that were bugging him, however, and he did some research.  One, he suddenly had a million extra dollars in his bank account, which is pretty generous discovery for anyone.  The bank record said it was deposited from some gambling group for a substantial bet he’d made while he was out of it.  Ryan thanked his lucky stars that he’d won… The second was an article in a reputable newspaper stating that he was gay, a claim that he discovered was backed by his own agent.   As near as he could figure, Pat must have somehow managed to get that released in an effort to discredit him.  Considering this, Ryan was again thankful that his memory loss self had gone through with the divorce proceedings.

 

            Ryan chased away the thoughts and concentrated on filming for Whose Line.  It was nice to be working with Colin again, especially since the other man seemed to be avoiding him lately.  Although, to be fair, Colin was working through his own divorce and had his plate full.   Ryan couldn’t remember what had caused Deb and Colin to split, but he had a feeling he should already know and shouldn’t ask.  Whatever the reason, Ryan was a little jealous that they had ended on such great terms while he and Pat were still bickering every time they saw each other.

 

            He and Colin were filming a narration scene and run into one of the frequent problems of improv – running a scene to its logical conclusion and still having time left over.   Colin gave him a mischievous look and stepped forward to monologue.

 

            “It all seemed too easy.  Way too easy.  That’s when he did something totally unexpected.  So crazy and wild it took me totally by surprise.  Even though it was kind of funny, it still was really weird.”  And there was no way Colin hadn’t done that intentionally.  What else could Ryan do?  He kissed him.

 

            Colin’s expression said that he hadn’t expected Ryan to kiss him, but they both knew better.  He’d backed them both into a corner. 

 

            “I think that’s the first time I’ve kissed you on here.”  Ryan commented as they moved toward their seats, accidentally slipping in an ‘on here.’

 

            “Yes.”  Colin agreed stiffly.   “It was very nice.  Thank you.”

 

            Ryan waited impatiently throughout the rest of filming so that he can talk to Colin about what he did.   The minutes seemed to drag on into hours.  After they finished, Ryan caught up with him just as he was about to change and decided to ask him some of the questions about missing memories.   “It’s the weirdest thing, Col.  I seem to remember us kissing before today, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell you when.   Everything is strange.  I don’t remember things that I should, and I have memories that don’t make any sense.”

 

            “Close your eyes.”  Colin instructed.  Ryan did as he was told, and felt wet lips meet his own in a passionate kiss that reminded him of a thousand kisses that they never shared but should have. 

 

            “Oh.”  Ryan replied, before smiling slowly and leaning in for another kiss.    He could get used to kissing Colin.  When they broke apart, Ryan breathed out.  “What’s going on?”

 

            “Would you believe me if I told you that your future self made a dying wish to make love to me just one more time?”

 

            “No.”  Ryan replied instantly, waiting for the punchline.

           

            “In that case, you should really lay off the alcohol.” 

 

            Ryan licked his lips.  It wasn’t a satisfactory answer, but right now he was more concerned with capturing Colin’s lips.  “Can I kiss you again?”

 

            “Whenever you want.”

 

.o0o.

 


End file.
